The Power of a Supportive Wife

No, today is not our anniversary (October 6). It’s not even the anniversary of our engagement (January 25). It’s not even the anniversary of our first date (um… that’s sometime in the Spring, I think). We also haven’t had a fight recently (that I know of), so this isn’t to dig my way out of trouble.

Whenever I sign in to WordPress to write a new post, I always check my stats. It might be my form of vanity, but I want to know how many people are reading what I write. Some days it’s just one (thanks Mom or Eskai, depending on whose day it is). Other days there are more.

As I look along my stat line there are occasional spikes in the number of visitors I have. They are almost always coordinated with a day that my wife has reposted what I wrote. She will say some nice thing about what I wrote that day (that she probably helped edit, Thank you, Sweetheart) and repost it on her Facebook wall. You see, it’s not because she has more Facebook friends than I do (as of this writing I have roughly 450 more, but that doesn’t matter). It’s not because she is active on Twitter (she doesn’t have an account and occasionally makes fun of me as I check my Twitter feed). She doesn’t even pay people to go and read what I wrote.

The simple reason why some of my posts are more successful (more views) than others is that I have a wife who supports me and multiplies my feeble efforts. Wives, the best thing you can do for your husband is to find out what he wants most and give him a push of support in that direction. The power of a supportive wife has a way of strengthening a man’s resolve in ways you could never know. The support of a wife gives encouragement to a husband to keep going, even when we want to quit.

Likewise, an unsupportive wife wields the same amount of power with the opposite results. An unsupportive wife can take the wind out of a man’s sails. An unsupportive wife can suck the life out of a man’s soul. An unsupportive wife can bring discouragement and depression upon her husband.

Wives, you wield an enormous amount of power in the life of your husband. I am beyond thankful for my supportive wife and pray that I am as supportive of her as she is of me.


~ by mikefoster on September 10, 2013.

3 Responses to “The Power of a Supportive Wife”

  1. Amen, brother!
    SO thankful for MY supportive much-better-half and the encouragement she makes sure to send my way!

  2. My husband feels called to pastor….at 40 years old. He is just now jumping on this bandwagon but says he has felt called since he was young. He just never acted on it. We have both served in our former church prior to moving. In his areas of service, what were supposed to be duties of his were passed onto me even though I was not serving in those capacities. Over our 15 years, decisions he has made have led us into bankruptcy and financial demise. My income has been the stabilizing force in our marriage as he has had 5 jobs and has either been fired or layed off. Now for the last 4 years, he has not been able to work because he has a condition that causes him to pass out multiple times per week. We moved because I found a job with a significant raise. He can’t drive. We are in the process of filing for disability. The pastors at our new church are providing him with internship opportunities. It’s a recent church plant. To me, it feels like they are just wanting to move on getting someone in there so the planter can move on. My fears are that 1. He can’t drive! Guess who’s going to have to be carting him around for the late night calls, emergencies, meetings that come up after working a full time job? Yup! Me! 2. I don’t feel “led” to be a pastors wife. I am not what a pastors wife should be. Far from it. 3. If he gets approved for SS, then what? Does he lose it?? 4. How in the world is he supposed to run a church with no experience or the ability to stay upright for a period of time?? So forgive me for not being supportive but our history definitely gives me doubt. I love my husband. I think my loyalty has proven that. We have 4 kids. I have absolutely no desire to be an “unpaid assistant”, women’s ministry leader, children’s teacher, piano playing, casserole baking pastors wife. I refuse to have my life be a fishbowl and possibly become one of the startling statistics that some pastors and their families have become. Telling a wife that not being supportive takes the wind out of her mans sails is selfish. What about the wife’s sails?

  3. Marci, I believe your situation may be quite different from mine. You are being supportive of what is best for him. Husbands need wives who are willing to deal truthfully and honestly with life situations. Before I have made any job decision or move, my wife has been fully on board. I allow her to speak honestly into my life on such things because these decisions affect her too.

    If she saw that I was gifted, skilled and able to do something but didn’t support me, that is where the “taking the wind of the sails” comment comes from. You may see your husband as gifted to be a pastor and skilled to do so, but if his health will keep him from performing those tasks, that is honest assessment. He can still serve in ministry, just maybe not in the full time position he desired. If his health better, would you hold him back from fulfilling this calling?

    In reality, I thank you for trying to protect your husband. I pray that you have been able to encourage him to do ministry in a way that protects his health and your family. May God bless you as you serve and honor Him.

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