Life is in the small talk

How many of us are scared to share our faith because we don’t have “the speech” memorized? Who knows we might say something stupid, say the wrong thing or forget a large portion of what we are “supposed” to say?

I’ll admit, not feeling good about “the speech” has kept me from talking to others about Jesus. My other fear is often that I am trying to manipulate them or give them some sort of robotic, contrived speech, neither of which is generally helpful in the conversion process.

So how do we go from manipulation to nudging people towards Jesus?

Small talk.

You might be thinking, what? Yep, that is right small talk. The “white noise” of conversation. All the talk about the weather, the kids, the bills, the game are important foundational stones that may lead to later conversations about “ultimate” sorts of things like faith.

We have placed to much emphasis on the “initial” (introductions, etc.) and “ultimate” (faith and salvation) conversations that we have left out the middle ground where people determine if we are “safe” enough to trust us with the “ultimate” conversation. We have made our God conversations about holiness and avoiding sin that people don’t think that God cares about their everyday, and who wants to worship a God that doesn’t care (I’m guessing nobody). When we rush to the “ultimate” conversation, we communicate to others that we don’t care about the details of their life, and people get the clues about Jesus from those who claim to follow and worship Jesus.

Here’s a couple of things that we can do:

1. Ask Questions- Jesus continually puts the attention on others by asking them questions. The Gospels never present Jesus as a guru who has all the answers. Maybe we should try giving fewer answers and asking more well placed questions.
2. Make small talk- Not every conversation has to convey useful and important conversation. Neither should we become meaning addicts, seeking information in every verbal exchange. Enjoy the conversation for the sake of the conversation. Realize that because you took the time to engage in small talk today, you might have the opportunity to help them with faith issues later.
3. Practice normal talk- Too often we say things that could be considered “insider” language. Use normal English when you talk to others about your life. Your “daily walk” doesn’t describe your devotional life to someone who is far from God, to them it sounds like your exercise regimen.
4. Say “Wow!”- If someone you are talking to says something shocking and you don’t know what to say, say “Wow!” This will give you a chance to collect your thoughts before saying something potentially offensive, and who doesn’t like hearing someone say “Wow!” after something they have said. It’s like saying, “Tell me more.” Try that next time one of God’s missing children shakes your worldview.

Don’t rush past the small talk. Life is in the small talk.

~ by mikefoster on September 2, 2009.